Independent School Magazine recently published an article, “Why Our Approach to Bullying is Bad for Kids,” by Susan Porter.  Porter set out to investigate the apparent surge in bullying among children, as reported in multiple media.  What she learned was that the incidence of bullying had not increased so much as the definition of bullying had changed and expanded.

Bullying used to mean acts of physical harassment between children, beating up a smaller child or repeated hate speech.  Now bullying includes all sorts of behaviors, including social exclusion, name-calling, teasing, and generally being unfriendly.  Also the negative outcomes of bullying have been expanded from school phobia and depression to include feeling upset or being sad.  Porter learned in her research that bullying now means any of the “routine” acts of selfishness, meanness, teasing, and other social misfires that characterize childhood and adolescence.

What is troubling to Susan Porter (and to me) is that what used to be normal childhood behaviors are now seen as pathological and dangerous.  Adults are creating unrealistic guidelines for children’s behaviors in an effort to try to prevent all children from feeling any pain or discomfort from unsuccessful social interactions.  Like many other aspects of our lives, adults seem to be trying to create a construct for children that, in the end, inhibits a child’s ability to learn from mistakes and to develop resilience in the face of adversity.

Read more at Farmington Patch We Need to Ban the Term ‘Bullying’! – Farmington-Farmington Hills, MI Patch.